March 31st, 2009: Winter Issue

Czech it, this should hold you over for a week or two until we put out another shitrag.


Winter 2009, Issue 03

February 17th, 2009: Koala TV Streaming Live

Watch Koala TV on SRTV live:
Click here to watch
Wednesdays 10 PM.

February 12th, 2009: Happy Valentines Day

Don't forget to punch your Valentine in the mouth.


Winter 2009, Issue 02

January 26th, 2009: KOALA MOTHERFUCKING TV

So, if you weren't lucky enough to catch Koala TV last Wednesday, we have good news for you:

Koala TV will air EVERY Wednesday at 10pm on SRTV.  On campus, tune to channel 18 for a visual representation of the shitshow known as the Koala!

Web stream coming soon!

January 15th, 2009: Welcome to 2009.

For your viewing pleasure.



Winter 2009, Issue 01

November 19th, 2008: Preview of the Issue!

Despite MAJOR ASSHOLE PRINTER TROUBLES (SD printers are Nazis) we're going to be on Library Walk Thursday, Friday and Monday distributing.  Look for a hardcopy there.

For now, you can view it in between jerking off to hentai.


Fall 2008, Issue 02

September 30th, 2008: Latest Issue Up

Check out the latest issue:

Fall 2008, Issue 1

September 24th, 2008: Wanna Join In On The Fun?

A number of you have emailed the editor about joining the fine staff of the Koala.  While we normally require human sacrifice, we'll be having our first meeting on Friday at 4:20 in the Media Lounge.   Above AS Soft Reserves, and across the way from Porter's Pub.  There is a map here.

Older News can be found in the Updates Section.

Back Issues

Houseboat on 06/02/08
Rating:

There exists a point in every college students life where you’re drinking simply to dull the pain from the last night’s drinking. Later, your intervention counselor will tell you this is alcoholism. In the meantime, there’s a place to hone your drinking skills to liver-crippling proportions: Houseboat.

5 Houseboats, 125...continues

Board Rockstar Party on 01/20/06
Rating:

At the last minute I find out about this BOARD party in P.B. Apparently there was some sort of theme, I think it was “dress as your favorite gay-pornstar” but who gives shit. I came dressed as Joe College Jack-off. Anyway, I give my buddy who lives down the street from the party a ring, stop by and we start walking to the party...continues

When the FUCK did you start making ice cream?!
Submitted By: Heather

See All Photos With Comments

Welcome to The Koala's webpage.  If you stumbled across here, you were probably searching for Koala TV porn, or Koala TV Steve York, or Netvideogirls, or Nadia Styles.

The Koala is actually a newspaper.  We have been around since 1892 when Scripps Institutions of Oceanography opened.  We were there to cover many important events in history.  When Orville Wright was flying airplanes we were drinking. When World War 2 broke out, we were drinking.  When the Euro became a legitimate currency, we found out about it three years later.

The Koala has two long traditions.  The first is maintaining a staff with a variety of personality disorders.  This is paramount.  A lesser known tradition is our editors achieving a third place standing in A.S. elections.  This can be either viewed one or two ways.  Whoa, or Wow!

We try to provide a safe and clean atmosphere for normal UCSD students to get drunk (on life) in and write funny stuff.  We also are not as dumb as we look, so don't fuck with us.  Many famous people have written for The Koala over the years. You might recognize some of these names:  Steve Lutz, Tulley Rafferty, Evan Hoovler, Drew Carey, Condoleeza Rice, Bryan Barton, and Brad Kohlenberg. You now have a cookie embedded into your computer that will not go away until 2037.  Until then we'll be watching you.

The Koala is a student-run humor publication at the University of California, San Diego. We usually publish two issues per quarter, except in the summer. Our issues can be found around campus or digitally in the Archives section. The issues are mostly in PDF format, except of course those in the HTML Archives section.

If you've actually read this far, then you must not be intoxicated enough to participate in The Koala. However, if this is simply a lapse in your poor, poor, judgment, and your interest in The Koala has been aroused (possibly by the Koala logo's phallic-like thumb), why not think of joining us? Info on attending a Koala meeting can be found in the Contact Us section.

Feel free to download issues, submit a personal or list, leave us feedback in The Forums, and check out our pictures.