June 19th, 2008: Freshpeople!

If you've been handed a Koala, and you think you're badass enough, go ahead and email editor (at) koala (dot) ucsd (dot) edu to get info on meetings/parties.

 If you can't figure out that email, you're too stupid to be in our club.

April 22nd, 2008: 5th Annual Pi Beta Phi Surf Competition

Come join The Koala and the rest of UCSD at...

April 9th, 2008: Earth Day Issue Online

Just in time for your Earth Day pre-parties, last quarter's Environmental Issue is one of the most high-brow papers we've done in years.  And there's still plenty of fellatio on the cover for you eco-terrorists.

February 27th, 2008: New Pic of the Month!

Entries will be accepted until sometime near March 26th.

THE WINNING CAPTION WILL GET A FREE PAIR OF TICKETS TO ANY SHOW AT THE BELLY UP TAVERN.

This venue is 21+, so if you're under 21 prepare to sell the tickets for some dirty mexican skunk weed or head from your bicurious roommate, provided you're actually funny, which you're not.

Click to Caption

February 11th, 2008: Koalasmopolitian Distribution

Check Out Our Special Valentine's Day Issue...
We're Handing it Out on Library Walk this Week!

January 22nd, 2008: Distribution This Week

What the fuck?!? 25 years of the Koala?!?



Niggas be going crazy!!!

Get your copy on Library Walk befro it's too late!

December 8th, 2007: 2008 Koala Sloshball Tournament

Ladies and Gentleman,
The Koala will be hosting a sloshball tournament Spring Season 2008!
BOARD Club, Surf Club, DVC, and a handful of other organizations are so far expected to participate.
If you're involved in an organization and would like your org to get drunk, email us.

We welcome ALL to challenge us!  At least 8 people are needed, but more the better.
Even religious, political, racial, ethnic (including Greek), and sports groups are welcome!
(Dates are not set yet and can be adjusted.)

P.S.: If you don't know what sloshball is...
http://thekoala.org/history/sloshball.html

December 3rd, 2007: New Holiday 2007 Koala!

Happy Kwanukkamas Ev'rybody!
Get your hard copies of the newly divine issue this week on Library Week.
Assalam alaikum, my people.

Older News can be found in the Updates Section.

Back Issues

Houseboat on 06/02/08
Rating:

There exists a point in every college students life where you’re drinking simply to dull the pain from the last night’s drinking. Later, your intervention counselor will tell you this is alcoholism. In the meantime, there’s a place to hone your drinking skills to liver-crippling proportions: Houseboat.

5 Houseboats, 125...continues

SigEp Madi Gras on 02/12/08
Rating:

I never understood why they themed this party Mardi Gras when the holiday was more than a week over. That’s like having a Christmas Party January 2nd! The night started crammed on a hot and foul-smelling double-decker bus with a bunch of dumb drunk sorority bitches falling all over the place and a few SigEps starting the puke-fest eve...continues

Meet my new girl EVA! (That's short for Easy Vaginal Access.)
Submitted By: Chris

See All Photos With Comments

Welcome to The Koala's webpage.  If you stumbled across here, you were probably searching for Koala TV porn, or Koala TV Steve York, or Netvideogirls, or Nadia Styles.

The Koala is actually a newspaper.  We have been around since 1892 when Scripps Institutions of Oceanography opened.  We were there to cover many important events in history.  When Orville Wright was flying airplanes we were drinking. When World War 2 broke out, we were drinking.  When the Euro became a legitimate currency, we found out about it three years later.

The Koala has two long traditions.  The first is maintaining a staff with a variety of personality disorders.  This is paramount.  A lesser known tradition is our editors achieving a third place standing in A.S. elections.  This can be either viewed one or two ways.  Whoa, or Wow!

We try to provide a safe and clean atmosphere for normal UCSD students to get drunk (on life) in and write funny stuff.  We also are not as dumb as we look, so don't fuck with us.  Many famous people have written for The Koala over the years. You might recognize some of these names:  Steve Lutz, Tulley Rafferty, Evan Hoovler, Drew Carey, Condoleeza Rice, Bryan Barton, and Brad Kohlenberg. You now have a cookie embedded into your computer that will not go away until 2037.  Until then we'll be watching you.

The Koala is a student-run humor publication at the University of California, San Diego. We usually publish two issues per quarter, except in the summer. Our issues can be found around campus or digitally in the Archives section. The issues are mostly in PDF format, except of course those in the HTML Archives section.

If you've actually read this far, then you must not be intoxicated enough to participate in The Koala. However, if this is simply a lapse in your poor, poor, judgment, and your interest in The Koala has been aroused (possibly by the Koala logo's phallic-like thumb), why not think of joining us? Info on attending a Koala meeting can be found in the Contact Us section.

Feel free to download issues, submit a personal or list, leave us feedback in The Forums, and check out our pictures.