Stealing the MQ's Keg

The Koala decided to crash a Halloween party thrown by The Muir Quarterly (MQ), the other, shittier comedy paper at UCSD. We had heard rumors, but couldn't locate the damn thing. Asking around we kept coming up empty handed. Finally, Dirty Mike goes to the MQ website, writes down a few names, and proceeds to look the names up in the student directory. He straight up cold calls down the list, claiming to be a junior staffer on the MQ, and asks for the address. The first few weren’t fooled, but around the third call, Dirty comes back with the address.

We roll up around 9PM planning on stealing all of the chicks and leaving for other parties. After showing up to the wrong house, despite having the address, we arrive to a bunch of ugly girls and guys playing video games and jenga. We ascended to new levels of obnoxiousness trying to start a fight to no avail. Finally yours truly decided to steal the keg, as we couldn't leave a perfectly good keg of beer at such a shitty party. We opened the garage door, and walked out. I then closed the garage door, walked through the house and left.

We had a fun time that night drinking their beer. We somehow managed to start fights at two other parties, including a brawl involving well over a dozen people.