Dear Kid N' Play,
My boyfriend has a tendency to cheat on me, and after the last time I came down with HIV. Now I don't know if he is to blame, but I think that his permiscuous lifestyle is unhealthy for both me and my two year old son. What do you suggest I do?
-Diseased in Detroit
Dear Diseased,
You should rent House Party 3. Have you seen House Party 3? It's Da Bomb!
Dear Kid N' Play,
My boyfriend says I'm a ho just cuz I fucked the whole high school football team. Of course he's overexaggerating as always. I didn't sleep with the foreign kicker! Anyway, does my lifestyle make me a ho?
-Homed Out in Houston
Dear Horned,
You should rent Class Act. Did you see Class Act? It's Da Bomb!
Dear Kid N' Play,
I had a successful movie career until I fell off a horse. Now I'm con¬fined to a wheelchair! Do you think I can ever regain my former status as a public figure and a model citizen?
-C.R.
Dear Superman,
You're straight up bootie jacked! Did you ever see "Rollin with Kid N' Play" where we did the kickstep? Da kickstep is Da Bomb! Do the kickstep and that will solve all your problems, you jacked up fool! And rent House Party! |
Dear Kid N' Play,
I've been with my man for 2 years. It's getting kind of serious. Do you hear wedding bells in the future?
-Engaged in Eugene
Dear Engaged,
Can you spare a dollar? Da dollar's Da Bomb! We like dollars! |