The Koala Online
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Dear John |
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Dear John, A man and a woman must wait until they are married to have sex. Men usually have a harder time dealing with the intense desire to have premarital sex. That is why God invented alterboys. You may not be a big ranking official, but I doubt you'll have a hard time finding a young boy who can help ease your tension is you just stop by your local Catholic church. The best thing about them is they'll usually work for a cup of wine and a couple of those body of Christ wafers. Dear John, You are correct that premarital intercourse will lead to you burning in Hell for the rest of time, but there are somethings you can do about it (see above). In your case though, I see only one solution, butt-sex. If your girl is looking for some action, it probably won't take too much convincing to get her to take it in the booty-hole (especially if you tell her that the Pope says it's okay). What most people don't know is that anal intercourse doesn't count when we're talkin' about eternal damnation. That means you can hump all the butts you want without fear of endangering your afterlife. Dear John, |
You are correct that premarital intercourse will lead to you burning in Hell for the rest of time, but there are somethings you can do about it (see above). In your case though, I see only one solution, butt-sex. If your girl is looking for some action, it probably won't take too much convincing to get her to take it in the booty-hole (especially if you tell her that the Pope says it's okay). What most people don't know is that anal intercourse doesn't count when we're talkin' about eternal damnation. That means you can hump all the butts you want without fear of endangering your afterlife. Dear John, You are obviously not the offspring of your mother and father and are probably the result of your mother being impregnated by Satan sperm. You shall die a terrible death for the sinful pleasures you so cherish here on Earth. Your best chance is to shoot yourself before you gay up all the rest of us. |
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